It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
BRING THE BAGELS
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
