So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
