thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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