You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Randomize
