yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
