I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I have aggressive nipples.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
