Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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