Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You took a bar mat shot.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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