dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
