I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
