Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
