that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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