I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
