He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
