For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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