Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
