do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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