Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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