a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
wow bdsm is so cute
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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