come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
