i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
