I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
