he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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