You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
