Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
