This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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