Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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