is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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