in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
