I must be too annoying 4 u.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
