i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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