I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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