woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
