Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
NoShamevember. You game?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
