i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
