I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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