What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
