Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
