It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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