Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
