Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
