Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
