me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
