Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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