why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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