I cockslap morals
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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