Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
