it was like eating out sand paper
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
