Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
