Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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